A man who has been immortalized on the Hollywood screen, depicting kingpin "Tony Montana" in "scarface" all the way to playing himself in the not so successful Adam Sandler movie "Jack and Jill" made the title statement which is fitting with this small blog entry.
I know I made an article on anxiety already, detailing the facts, what I go through and how I combat it; but now I want to demonstrate how I'm trying to better this anxiety demon.
All the above photos have one thing in common; I'm hiding my eyes. Now, ill jump in and say there is some strength to the suggestion that its because in all these photos it is fairly sunny; and you wouldn't be wrong to jump to that conclusion in its entirety, but like with most mental health issues, there is something else underlying in the murky depths of the anxious psyche which unfortunately not a lot of people see.
I use these glasses every time I'm going for a run. In the morning, evening, night, rain or shine; they are always there. Why?
From the cyber bullying I received a few years back (See how were now starting to tie in with PTSD in some respects) I HATE, I mean, REALLY HATE being outside on my own in public. All because I don't want to see those people who did that to me. Its to the point, and I have done this, seen I forgot my sunglasses and just gone home. There's been times where I pushed the boundaries and taken them off but that's because those people have no means to be on my running route - but that run was more of a just "do it and go" rather than enjoying it like it usually does. I hated it.
Today was different.
Saturday mornings since 6 weeks ago haven't been the same since I took the plunge and decided "Lets ParkRun!" and this morning was no different. Got out the car, Deep breath, stretch and gentle jog to the meeting area. Still had time and it was cloudy so the thought entered my mind - "You don't need sunglasses." and then anxiety thrusts its hands around my heart and grabbed hold making me feel like I had skipped a beat.
Lets do this.
I ran back to the car, took the glasses off and then jogged back to the meeting area. Before setting off, looked in the mirror and psyched myself up; Square breathing and away we went.
Before I knew it, I was running (in the sun I might add) with no glasses!! This rule I applied like a self fulfilling prophecy that I may be recognized outside without them was left behind like taking off one of the satchels of emotional baggage I seem to carry around with me everywhere I go - and it felt great.
To add to this, its also the best parkrun time I've done and placed 66 out of 333 - The stigma is finally gone. It just goes to show that some simple techniques can really help to not only help with the physical aspect of outdoors exercise but how it actually for this Saturday, changed my life.
Thank you to all those volunteering and partaking in the parkrun - And I hope this Helps those suffering with an anxiety related issues to take baby steps and use this a platform for change.
Stay strong, Stay Safe