Moments throughout this new week, I'll be man enough to say it - I've cried.
See one of the key things I've learnt with mental health is that everyone deals with different aspects in different ways; for me, I have/I need to have an outlet - Running or physical activity is my main outlet; so imagine when you feel like, okay I'm in recovery and its needed for me to come back stronger but, I've essentially been clamped with my boot splint, like an illegally parked car.
little by little, the angst has been building like a haphazard tower of Jenga. no - lets go extreme just so the outcome can have some gravitas than the mild annoyance of parents picking up the rubble remains of the game, the world over.
Lets start again...
Little by little, the angst has been building like the universes great expanse, all coming to its inevitable conclusion of the Big Crunch as all life comes to an end thus rendering human en-devour completely useless...
That was WAY over dramatic but you get the point.
The outcome Isn't great.
To rub salt into the wounds, I've missed the north Lincolnshire half marathon and I'm going onto miss ToughMudder this coming Saturday. Gutted doesn't even put across what I feel remotely. I've kept my positive mental attitude going as much as possible, hence rather than letting it build up; my wife, family, friends and physio have all been there, helping me in both a physical and a mental way - and letting my emotions out to open that lid strait off!
Never suffer in silence, always speak to those you trust!
Its okay to not be okay!
ANYWAY! - That's the doom and gloom out of the way, this week has had its positives!
One outlet for me at the moment is this website! so I've been publicizing it whenever possible; speaking to news outlets, sharing on Facebook groups and even through word of mouth. Its been amazing and well, quite humbling to hear all the words of support from everyone that this is a great idea and what were doing (Me and you - The readers) in the battle against mental health stigma, so again - A massive thank you to everyone! lets keep this going!
I've been keeping myself busy also with paperwork for well, work; Physiotherapy and also little breaks to amuse myself...
There's a snake in my boot!
(Little gaming jokes for you right there... I'll grab my jacket...)
also, I want to just say on a mental health point of view how proud I am at the wife for giving her anxiety a huge two fingers and went to meet her idol Frank Turner to get an autograph and a photo. Goes to show, pushing the boundaries may give one hell of a payout!
While on the subject of keeping my head up, I've looked into getting some RockTape - A brand of Kinesiology Tape which is essentially sticky back Spandex. The idea is to help fortify and aid movement by assisting blood flow and also helping the tendons in the joint with abit of support.
After some searching, Lincoln doesn't stock this ANYWHERE... I know it used too but couldn't find any, even the other branded types of tape (Looking at you KTtape) but I did find that SportsDirect stocks the tape but by the brand of "Everlast", walking to the till I saw a new bumbag which i need in the hotter weather for a drink and my phone... so that went strait into my basket also.
After watching a video on Youtube when I returned home, I got the tape strait on and could already tell the ankle was much more supported - this coupled with a tube compression bandage made the joint feel as if nothing happened int he first place! its definitely worth a shot with this tape, its incredible.
So that's it really for this week; I'm hoping that in the next week / few days I'll be able to walk for a few minuets without the boot on! Stretches and the joint its self is getting better - especially with the strap tape!! but even stood up for more than an hour the pain begins and the swelling balloons it so movement gets very limited, and that's in the boot! If anything I just want to at least get back to work even if I'm stuck at a desk. - that really doesn't help with the anxiety side of things.
If you haven't already, Please check out my Instagram here; its full of inspirational quotes, insight into my life which I update daily, and also where quite a few of you have already been in touch! its amazing to hear from you so feel free to get in touch though that OR the new contact page!!
The next blog post in the next few days is a total overview of the website, whats changed, whats constantly updated; and whats moved where for those interested!
Thanks for reading! and until next time...
Stay safe, Stay Strong
P.S - I hate public Transport - like full blown Loathe in its entirety.